Authored by: Anonymous on Tuesday, December 25 2012 @ 08:46 pm UTC

Oooo... great beginning! I am totllay hooked ;)I love the emotion you manage to convey through your character's voice: it is always so tough to convey!In terms of concrit I would offer: Edit! You so a great job of showing the character's emotion, do you can get away with less telling:case in point:"She sighed again, calming herself, tucking her chestnut hair behind her ear and wiping away her tears. She had to get it together. "You really don't the phrase "she had to get it together"! Your description of her sighing, calming, tucking and wiping does that for you!Can't wait to read more!

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